Support your child's emotional wellbeing
10% of children and young people aged 5 to 16 have a clinically diagnosed mental health disorder.
A further 15% have less severe problems that puts them at increased risk of developing mental health problems.
You can reduce this risk by supporting your child’s emotional wellbeing and promoting resilience.
Place2Be: parenting smart offers offers practical advice to support your child's wellbeing and behaviour.
If you are a parent of a young person who has been supported by:
- Berkshire Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service (CAMHS) Rapid Response Team (RRT) after your young person came to hospital with either a form of self-harm (an overdose, cutting, use of ligature) or high levels of mental distress or
- one of the duty clinicians at your local CAMHS team
check Berkshire Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust (BHFT) letter on:
- things your young person can do to reduce stress
- what you can do to enhance safety
- guidance to manage escalating/agressive behaviour
- urgent support available
- resources to help your young person.
Please note: This file may not be suitable for users of assistive technology. Please go to our accessibility statement for more information.
Check the sections below for further information on how you can support your child/young person.
Spend time with your child and listen to them
When you spend time with your child, quality is much more important than quantity.
Try to set aside a specific time each day to:
- take part in activities directed by your child
- give them your undivided attention and let them know they are your priority.
Listening is one of the most important ways to build resilience. It shows your child that you:
- are interested in what they have to say
- can see the world through their eyes.
You don’t have to agree with what they are saying but listening shows them that you respect them and teaches them self-respect.
Let your child know that everyone experiences pain, fear, anger, and anxiety. This may encourage them to open up to you.
When children are upset, sensitive listening provides emotional first aid.
Develop your child’s strengths
One of the best ways to promote resilience is a belief that we are good at something.
Identify and help your child develop their strengths. This will help them become more confident and resilient.
Discipline fairly, constructively, consistently
Children will make lots of mistakes, even when trying their best.
When your child does something that is wrong, focus on teaching them instead of punishing them.
Often the most effective way to teach is to invite your child to think about how their actions made you feel and what they learned from it.
Teach your child to make their own decisions
When children struggle, we often want to tell them what to do to fix things.
Constantly making decisions for your child can weaken their decision-making skills and lower their confidence.
When your child is faced with a problem, listen to them, and try to see the world through their eyes. When they feel understood, ask them “What do YOU think we should do?”
Let your child know that you are willing to help and support. Then invite them to make a decision and be supportive. If a decision is poor, offer gentle guidance or ask, “I wonder what might happen if we did that.”
As your child thinks through the various possibilities, he/she will gain confidence in making her or his own decisions in challenging situations.
Teach your child that mistakes are opportunities to learn
When your child makes a mistake, what do you say to them?
Show them that you see setbacks and failures as opportunities to learn and improve.
By teaching them that continued effort and practice are the keys to success, setbacks are no longer seen as frightening.
Children become more resilient and are willing to take risks. They become more curious to try new things.
Don’t ignore signs that your child is struggling
Be aware of behavioural changes that could indicate your child is struggling.
If their teacher tells you they are having trouble getting along with other children in class, don’t ignore it as being out of character and hope for the best.
What may start off as small behavioural patterns can develop into significant emotional problems.
If your child shows an unusual amount of anxiety, fear, anger or stress, it is important to get them the help that they need.
Your child's needs should always be more important than how you think you will be viewed as a parent.
Take care of your emotional and mental health
Although it is important to prioritise our children's needs, it's equally important to remember that how you feel has a huge impact on how they feel.
Children are naturally highly aware of their parents' moods.
Putting on a brave face or denying frustrations will never fully mask what you feel, and these feelings are sure to affect them.
Taking care of our own mental health is a key factor to help your children feel happy.
Parents with good mental health are better equipped to help their children.
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